


The King Of My Heart

by more_like_reyna



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Anger, Cutting, Death, Depression, French Kissing, Jasico - Freeform, Jason Grace - Freeform, Jealousy, M/M, Nico di Angelo - Freeform, Outlet, PJO, Self Harm, Swearing, grangelo, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22370566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/more_like_reyna/pseuds/more_like_reyna
Summary: Jason and Piper have broken up and Jason seems distant. Aloof. Nobody knows the hurt and pain within. And Jason finds an outlet only to be found out by Nico which leads to interesting sequences. One Shot.Contains Swearing, self-harm and graphic kissing
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Jason Grace
Kudos: 23





	The King Of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Rick Riordan. The song is King of My Heart by Taylor Swift.
> 
> AU: After the Giant War. Piper and Jason have broken up. Solangelo doesn't happen. Jason's character is not like his-but I wanted to highlight that love can change everything about you. Everything that makes you, you. And I feel that this shows that bad things happen to the strongest and bravest people too.
> 
> Cussing, Cutting, Kissing-don't read if you don't like.
> 
> Also, people who are prone to depression and self-harm, please do not read this if you feel you will get triggered. You are beautiful and amazing and there are people who love you. This is purely fictional and not meant to cause any harm.

I had never experienced heartache before. I was everyone's golden boy, the son of Jupiter, front man of the legion. Everything I wanted I got. Praetorship, recognition, beautiful girls. But I knew I was different. I wanted to hide. I wanted to hide from the fact that aside from hot girls, I also liked hot guys. And now, I was alone. Piper and I had broken up, amicably, deciding to be "just friends". All the others were worried, because I looked like I wanted to die.

I did. But not because of Piper. Because of him.

He was dark, moody and misunderstood. He thrived in the shadows. The Ghost King. Nico di Angelo had captured my heart. Sure, he was 3 years younger or eighty-odd years older, whichever way you looked at it. I was the only one he could kind of trust. I was the one he came out to first. If you looked at it, he and I were practically best friends, I mean; as far as you can go being best friends with The Prince of Depression and Melodrama (he is such a baby!'). And now, he had a new BFF. Will Solace. Nico and Will hang out practically everywhere. I didn't know I had feelings for Nico, but once he started hanging out with Will, I started to get annoyed. Damn annoyed and DAMN pissed off. And then, one idiot from Ares called me a lame sucker who was supposed to die and not Leo [A/N: EVERYONE THOUGHT LEO WAS STILL DEAD] and Nico was around and I can never forget it.

Nico punched the guy so hard in the gut and looked at me and waved me off, because I was already unsheathing my gladius. I sheathed it and looked up. Nico was now crouching above the Ares kid who had fallen, holding his sword a centimeter from the guy's throat. His expression of cold fury was so terrifying; it sent a shiver down my spine. If that face was against me, I would've given up. And I never give up.

Nico snarled, 'You-will-never-ever-talk to Jason or any one of my friends like that!'

That was when I realized that I had feelings for that idiot. And I hated very minute of it. I wanted to come out as bisexual but I know what everyone thought about LGBT people. Sure, they had all accepted Nico and almost killed anybody who teased him, but I knew that the guys were still a bit wary with him.

"I don't want to get too close to him. He might get feeling for me."

I hated that so much and I know that's what people would think if I came out. But that was a minor part of what I was feeling. Why I was hurting so much. I had seen Nico and Will talk and talk and talk, and I've seen the way Nico blushes when he sees Will. That's what everyone talks about. The "new Percabeth"-Solangelo. Everywhere I went-that's all I heard-'Solangelo is so shippable', 'My OTP', 'they're so cute'- it made me want to die so much.'

And I admit it. I've cut myself on my hands so many times, it looks like a mess. But the first time I cut myself, I had sneaked out a jar of magical salve and paste from the Apollo Cabin. That along with nectar heals it up to almost invisible, white scars and no one notices. My friends have stopped comforting me now. It's been 3 weeks since me and Piper broke up. I've been cutting myself for 2 weeks 6 days and no one notices. And it kind of hurts that no one cares enough to notice. I guess that's how Nico felt when he came out of Tartarus. He went in alone, got kidnapped, came out and led the crew of the Argo II to Epirus, but everyone made such a big deal of Percy and Annabeth falling in to Tartarus. Atleast they had someone. Nico didn't.

But now, I was all alone. Literally. I hadn't taken part in any camp activities in a long time (everyone excused me because I was "healing" from my "breakup"). I was in my cabin, behind the King of the Gods, or the million time 'Lamest Dad in the World' awardee, Hippie Zeus' statue. I had a dagger in my hand because blades are suspicious. Daggers aren't (I don't know how that works). I drew a new line with it in my left hand. And another. And another, under the previous one. I started at my wrist and cut till my elbows. Then I started cutting on top of the already existent cuts. The floor had a pool of blood. My hands were a bloody mess. It was so numb and I had lost so much blood, I was about to faint. I walked over to this tiny shelf near my bunk and pulled out a tissue paper, and pressed it to my hand. Then with my remaining hand, I searched for the salve and pulled it out, when I heard someone knocking on my door. I sighed and said, 'I'm busy. Come back later!'

The person called out, 'NO! Get out of the cabin, Grace!' The voice sent chills down my whole body and butterflies in my stomach (Yeesh, I was P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C). Nico di Angelo. I yelled back, forcing my voice to not quaver from the acute pain in my left hand, 'Nico, go away!'

He replied back, 'I need someone to practice sword-fighting. Everyone is busy and Will had to go see is mom. She's sick. It's so freaking fun beating him. But you can come instead. You'd be almost as bad, though.' Oh, add a blinding pain from my heart to the amount of body parts in pain. My heart felt like it had been stabbed with Stygian Ice.

"It's so freaking fun beating him. But you can come instead. You'd be almost as bad, though."

That was my freaking condition. A replacement. To while away the time when he wasn't there. My eyes brimmed with tears (I know it's not "boyish" or very "macho" but guys do cry-so deal with it.). I said, 'Nico, just go away.'

He sighed and yelled, 'If you don't open this door in 10 seconds-I'm shadow travelling in.' 'Goddammit Nico!' I screamed mentally. I quickly tore up one of old vests and bound it around my hand, gulped down a bit of nectar. Nico was already counting, '10….9…8….' Fuck, fuck, fuck-my thoughts ran exactly like that. I wiped away the pool of blood from the floor with a rag I use only for that and quickly put on a jacket over my Camp Half Blood tee. Nico was still going on, '3….2 ¾ ….. 2 ½ …. 2 ¼…..2…' I quickly grabbed my gladius and opened the cabin door.

And there he was. The King of my Heart. Gods-the clichés and the Taylor Swift song names (I'm a huge fan…Prob?). He wore a simple white T-shirt and black jeans with his Stygian iron sword. He flashed me a small smile and my heart legit melted. He said, 'Huh… Took you long enough.'

I answered, slightly pissed, 'What the heck, Nico? You gave me ten seconds!'

He complained, 'Hey! I gave you a few extra seconds-2 ½ and 2 ¾ remember?'

I huffed, 'Weirdo.'

He retorted, 'Geek.' I shook my head and we both walked to the training arena. When we reached there, Nico traced his sword's length delicately and said, 'Ready, Grace?'

I unsheathed my gladius and assumed my normal fighting stance. Nico advanced on me and we both circled. I tried to avoid the mind numbing pain from my left hand and only concentrated on good stuff to keep me from passing out-like how damn good Nico di Angelo looked. He swung his sword at me and I parried-our blades clashing. As we continued like that, Nico totally on the offensive and me just trying to defend myself. Dang! He had gotten so good. And then, I tried one move which I usually do-where I feint a punch with my right and instead disarm the person with my sword in my left hand. So me, being stupid me, I shifted the blade to my left hand and tried to punch Nico in the gut. He sidestepped and I swung the gladius but the pain, more pain than I had ever felt, overcame me. I dropped the gladius and collapsed on the floor on my knees. I could see Nico hazily yelling my name. I turned slightly to see my arm and saw my coat stained red. He rummaged his pockets and brought out some squished ambrosia and a tiny vial of nectar. He fed me the ambrosia and pulled my coat sleeve up, to reveal a bloody mess-literally. My cuts this time were deeper and the blood was just oozing. Nico opened the vial and poured the nectar on my arm. The burning subsided and the pain reduced to normal-kill-me-I-can't-endure-this. My vision became clear and I stood up. Nico helped me up and then looked at me, eyes filled with concern and said, 'You okay, Grace?'

I answered, my voice a bit shaky, 'Yeah, uh…. I think I'm fi-fine.'

Then Nico turned on me and grabbed my shirt collar and yelled, 'Then what the fuck-Jason? You can't just go around cutting yourself! Seriously! I saw white scars too! How long have you been cutting yourself! Tell me!'

I lowered my eyes and said, 'Almost 3 weeks.'

His eyes blazed with fury, 'Seriously! I thought you and Piper were friends! You don't go cutting yourself for a girl like Piper!' He spat the words with venom and continued, 'Dammit! You could've told any of us! You could have told me!'

I whispered, 'It's not Piper…' He face palmed and said, 'So what? You got a new crush on a girl and she didn't like you or whatever, Jason. Is that it! Gods, you're stupid!' Now he was so close that our noses were practically touching. His breath smelled like pomegranates. And that's when I lost it.

No, I didn't kiss him. I have a little self-control. I yelled, 'Do you know how hard it is? To face the one person you love with someone else? When you don't have anyone to tell it to!'

He whispered, 'I think I do or did, Grace, for more than 2 weeks! You could have come to me! I would've helped you!'

I tried to control my anger and my emotions. I just couldn't. "You could have come to me! I would have helped you!" those lines killed me and I screamed, 'You may know! You may fucking well know all about feelings! But do you know who that person is, Nico? Well, fuck it! It's you! And do you know how hard it is not to tell anyone and not to even know how you're feeling? Do you know how I felt every time you roamed with "Will Solace"? Do you? Do you know how it feels when people pair you and "him"! Did anyone know! Did anyone give a shit! And I found an outlet so just let me be-because I know that you will never belong with me and I know you and him are meant to be! Just leave me alone, Nico di Angelo because if I look into your face one more time, I will die knowing that I won't ever have you! '

I walked away-leaving Nico with a startled face. I walked back to my cabin and took out my dagger. It was still covered with drying blood. I took it in my hand and heaved a deep sigh-trying to calm my nerves. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to die because next time, I don't think even a tiny portion of me would survive if I saw Will and Nico together. And this was easier. I did a few practice cuts. It didn't hurt now-my arm was so numb I couldn't feel it at all. I knew that was bad but I was glad that I wouldn't feel it. Then, I looked at my wrist- which had a small bare portion of my skin because I knew my vein was under that. I smiled faintly. Who would've thought Jason Grace, Pontifex Maximus, darling of New Rome; Camp Jupiter and Camp Half Blood hero would end up dying like this-dagger in hands? I cut the skin.

The cut deepened and the blood stared trickling out. But I didn't let go of the dagger. It started going further in and the blood started rushing out in torrents. I turned to see my shadow on a wall. The blood gushing out of my hand made such weird images. It looked like jelly. I was getting woozy and I know I get delirious when I get woozy. I just let the dagger stay in my hand and concentrated on the shadows. And suddenly, the shadows joined together forming a circle.

'That's funny,' I giggled. And then, my normal brain came back and I finally got the picture. A second and I would've been too late. I moved away from the wall and right the, Nico stumbled from the shadows and landed where I had been a second ago. I yelled, my right hand still clasping the dagger, 'GET LOST, NICO!'

I could feel the blade of the dagger trying to cut through the last piece of skin and reach the vein. Nico yelled back, 'You fool! Remove the fucking blade from your hand… do it Jason!' I frowned and moved away from him. He advanced towards me. I tried to run, but there was no place and I had zero energy and strength in me. Nico reached out his arm and pushed me against the wall. He held the arm my blade was in to the wall. The blade clattered to the floor. I shouted, 'You Bitch! Can't you see? I want to die! Don't you understand! ?'

He breathed, 'Gods! Jason… you can't die on me like that! You just can't!'

I retorted, 'Ya right! Like you give a Fuck!'

He was close to tears now. He said, 'I can't lose you too! Not after Bianca! You're the only person I properly cared about after Bianca and Hazel! I couldn't bear your death, Jason!'

I felt the tears rising but I just had to let them stay in. I retorted, 'It doesn't matter. You'll get over my death, Nico! Will Solace will provide you a shoulder to cry on and offer some solace.'[EW…BAD PUN]

He gave a shaky laugh and said, 'Stupid pun, Grace! Don't you see? I was only with Will as a way to forget you, you big idiot! You were with Piper and god knows if you're even Bi or Gay… I thought you were straight and even if you weren't, why would you like me?'

I blinked. Wait what? HAD NICO JUST CONFESSED HE HAD FEELING FOR ME? I stuttered, 'You, um…like me? Me?'

He moved closer. Our noses were touching. I could literally count his eyelashes. He was smiling properly. Had he always had that little dimple? He literally smiled out his words, 'Yes you, you big baby.'

And that's when he kissed me. Properly. Full on the lips. And being the idiot he is, he moved his tongue into my mouth without my permission. But I wasn't going to complain. I could feel his smile through our kiss. I gently caressed his hair while he held my shoulders. I think he was standing on tiptoe. And finally, after probably millennia, we pulled away. The idiot looked so good, it was unfair. Drops of my blood scattered his face. He slowly wiped them away and said, 'You ever cut yourself again and…'

'And?' I asked playfully, despite the torture my left hand was going through.

'And I'll never kiss you again!' He had the audacity to smirk.

I pouted and said, 'Well… I wouldn't want that, would I?'. He took off his jacket and tied it around my arm and applied nectar and the salve from Apollo cabin. It didn't heal but it stopped bleeding-leaving ghoulish red marks across my arms. He opened my cabin door and literally dragged me to the training arena. There were suddenly a lot of people there. There wasn't a soul 20 minutes ago. We reached the middle of the arena and Nico yelled, 'HEYYY!'

Everyone turned. Will and Piper were there, talking nonchalantly. Piper yelped, 'Jason, your arm...' I shrugged, 'Ya, whatever.' Will looked at Nico and asked, 'What's up, Neeks?'

A wave of jealousy came out of nowhere and hit me. Neeks? He was my fucking boyfriend! I mean, I thought we were dating, anyways! But then my rational part screamed, 'He's yours, dammit! Why do you care?'

I guess I was staring because Will gave me this weird awkward smile and then Nico turned and kissed me. In front of everyone. Proclaiming I was Bisexual. Proclaiming that I had a boyfriend. Proclaiming that Nico di Angelo was the King of My Heart (I really should stop!).I pulled away first. Piper looked like she had been stabbed. She gasped, 'You…Nico…You're…' then she smiled, 'You big rascal!'

I smiled and all the others in the arena were smiling too, but I was only looking for one person. I saw Will and I saw that he was giving Nico a small smile and a thumbs up. I also noticed that he was standing really close to Piper and I also noticed how their hands "casually" brushed each other. I smirked at Will and he understood and turned away, blushing like a retard.

I pulled Nico's collar and kissed him again and this time, the whole damn camp hooted and 'oooohed'. We pulled away when I heard Percy's startled voice yell, 'What the FUCK?!' I smiled. I had him. Nothing else mattered. Except maybe a pepperoni pizza. I was starving. Who am I kidding? Only he did. The King of my Heart.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it.   
> Again, I reinstate, love can break you down and build you up. And sometimes, when all else seems hopeless, this is a route many people take. Just saying.
> 
> Anyways, read and comment your feelings down below- good, bad or ugly. Constructive Criticism is always appreciated. 
> 
> Also, mind clicking that kudos button down there.


End file.
